Judas Iscariot And Holy Champagne Website
Ghanaians, and of course, Christians all over the world, will on Friday 'honour' Judas Iscariot for betraying Jesus Christ. Out of Judas' sin man is redeemed and the honour is to the traitor. When Jesus resurrects on Sunday, he would literally have 'stolen' the honour and Judas will matter no more. The entire process this year began with a Palm Sunday, last Sunday, and many took the opportunity to re-affirm their faith and confidence in palmwine and its big brother, akpeteshie also known as ngaleji, sodabi, kele, yayaaya and sub-diesel. Local gin has at least 45 gazetted aliases. It is said to melt away human sorrow. It is not for any bad reason that celebrants marked Palm Sunday in all manner of forms and style. Little kids sang 'Loud Hosanna' and their parents were amused. When the oldies were carried away, they also crowed out the stanzas in the belief that Saint Peter was taking note. On the judgemant day, they can also say that they sang Hosanna on High, albeit under alcoholic inspiration. The idea of celebrating Easter keeps nagging my mind. Is it about the death or the resurrection or botn or none? "Is the death and resurrection supposed to be a miracle or a mere prophecy fulfilled, however miraculously this manifested? There is a book titled THE GOSPEL ACCORDING TO JUDAS. When I sighted one, an online copy of the alleged original manuscript, I read something that made me conclude that such a gospel cannot exist. In it, Judas was claiming that Jesus literally conspired with him (Judas) to betray him (Jesus) to fulfill his mission on earth. So the biblical text that captures Jesus as telling "Judas to do what you have to do," according to Judas' gospel or its leading interpretation, was only referring to the conspiracy; a reminder to Judas to do as they had agreed. This sounds untruthful against the backdrop of the numerous biblical prophecies in Isaiah and Jeremiah that "unto us a child, unto us a child is given, and he shall be called wonderful Jesus" and he shall be led to the slaughter ... shall resurrect after the third day. I cannot imagine that old-age prophecies by saintly prophets will require a conspiracy to fulfill. Judas' gospel, I believe is an example of one of the world's best orchestrated fakes. Now Easter is with us and we are just getting warmed up for the event. For those of us who have quit booze, oh glory, we shall indulge in what is known as non-alcoholic wine. May be that is what will be served on Ressurection Day for the assembly of saints. I pray that I'm qualified to make a toast during the Second Coming and then I'll quaff to my soul's content. May I ask whether dinner is served in heaven? The sad part of modern-day Easter is that it is losing its appeal. Two decades ago, most Accra and Kumasi sojourners took pains to prepare for Easter which they celebrated in their hometowns. In places like Tepa Abotoase, Obo-Kwahu, Abetifi and Peki-Avetile, Easter took the form of jamborees and samba dance. Workers in Accra, Tema, Kumasi and the regional capitals saved part of their income in preparation for Easter. To them Christmas was for little children. Easter was for the 'imagos' and adults with thick moustache and goatee. It was during Easter that you saw the latest kaba styles and 'guarantee' shoes. The march to the church-room was a real spectacle and the bar-40 trousers of the men were too conspicuous to be true. That was called fashion. Some men in Accra normally declined to go home for obvious reasons. The temperature of their back-pockets was usually not conducive for an environment that needed showmanship and unrequited donations to those they didn't like. Such men would, however, permit their wives to represent them at the holy fiesta and quaff the holy champagne (frothing palm wine) on their behalf or in their name. The danger, however, was this. The festival mood made it easy for 'loose' women, married or unmarried, to taste the other side of midnight. So they came back to their husbands not the same. It was a tragedy for men. There was another side of the coin, though. Some men will deliberately allow their wives to be nice enough to visit home during Easter. "Go and see how the oldman and your mum are faring." This is not a genuine concern being expressed by a husband who has his own blue-printed design when his wife is far away. Immediately the wife leaves, action starts and there is a new way of life. It can result into anything ranging from an away baby waiting to be born in nine months time or an STD waiting to be distributed. It could be HIV and that certainly is a death sentence. Now, I hear Ankaful Psychiatric Hospital will be celebrating Easter in style. I want to visit this hospital, because 'Sikaman Palava' has heard that wonderful things happen there. As for wee-smoking, we hear it is common. What about sex? An ex-inmate has told me something my pen cannot write. I have tried to write it, but I cannot. It is too juicy! I need to talk to the patients to get the facts clear. It is a very difficult subject, I cannot tackle it without adequate preparation. Next time you see me in that blue Concord heading towards Ankaful, don't wave at me, I will be on a mission impossible, but I do not fear challenge. On the contrary I welcome it. And soon I'll drop the bombshell.
Source: MJFM
